


Reasons and Tattoos

by Nina_17



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dark Mark, Dinner, Drarry, Friendship, M/M, Moving On, Moving Tattoo(s), Random visits, Take away, Tattoos, To subtle, dance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2018-12-31 23:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12143232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nina_17/pseuds/Nina_17
Summary: Harry Potter couldn't find his place in the world after the war. But after he witnesses a traumatic event, he found something that gave purpose in his life. Now after years of hard work, he is off to help the one person that has been on his mind for years.Characters may be a bit ooc.





	1. Finding Reason Where there is none.

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter contains some graphic material that may trigger some readers.  
> The first chapter is the only chapter that does. 
> 
> Please enjoy and THANK YOU for choosing my story.
> 
> Thank you to my beta Lafyel. You are amazing thank you.❤❤❤

The Battle of Hogwarts destroyed more than just the castle. Students, teachers, parents, and siblings were left to mourn the loss of life and innocence in that battle. There was was so much hurt and pain caused by the hatred, they were unsure if they would ever reopen the doors of Hogwarts. With the help of those that fought not just in the battle that day but the small obstacles that came after, they reopened the doors to Hogwarts to those who were willing to return. The renovations to the castle itself were far quicker than they had hoped. With the help of many, the school was able to reopen its doors on the first of September as they had always done.

 

Those that returned found many changes to the school. It was said that after all the negative outcomes of the segregation of houses at Hogwarts, the school (Headmistress McGonagall) made the decision to separate the students by their years and not by their respective houses. Students were placed 1st and 2nd year, 3rd and 4th year, 5th and 6th year, and finally 7th and the unofficial 8th years were placed together. It was agreed upon by most that this was the best solution in keeping the students unified even when they were still so divided. Some were not particularly happy about the changes that were being made. It wasn't until they were informed that they would still be sorted into their respective houses that some relented. When they learned they would still compete in the house cup, sports teams and school activities the reluctant came around.

 

Even with all of the positive changes, that year had been hard for Harry. He slowly pulled away from his friends. The memories of not only the battle but having seen in the mind of a sadistic murderer had given him nightmares he couldn't share with anyone. He knew his friends would listen but they would never truly understand. A part of him didn't want them to. He didn't want them to suffer like he was. Harry hadn’t meant to pull away so much, but not only had he needed time and space to heal, he knew his friends need time to heal the loss of loved ones they had lost. 

 

He seemed to find himself alone more often, either by design or by chance, as his friends found solace in each other without him. A part of him felt lost. He had spent the last seven years with the sole purpose of defeating Voldemort. Now he didn't know what he was going to do. He began thinking of what his purpose was, now that the war was over. He no longer had to save anyone and the Aurors were taking care of any hidden death eaters. He was just a student now. He was just a boy. For the first time in years, he was just Harry. And he didn't know how to deal with that. He didn't know how to just be a teenager. So as his friends got better and happier over the school year. As they moved on from the grief, he found himself holding back. He sat alone often and tried to find what was next for him. He no longer felt like he could deal with being an Auror. He didn't want to fight anymore. He needed a goal. He needed direction but he couldn't seem to find something that fit him. Then it happened.

 

Harry was alone, again, this was something he had grown used to. He was by himself when he left his dorm room to find a quiet place to read. He was alone when found escaping his thoughts through books helped him to forget. That was what he wanted to do, escape and forget the sorrow and guilt he felt. 

It wasn't until he was halfway outside that he realized he’d forgotten his book on his bedside table. Harry found himself distracted by his thoughts more often than not, so much so that he was always forgetting things. Having retrieved his book, he made his way back out to his favorite reading spot, when he heard a noise coming from the bathrooms.

As he moved closer to the door, he heard an agonizing sob, a mix of anger and frustration. The door wasn’t shut completely, and what he saw when he looked in almost broke him. 

On the floor of the shower, he saw Draco Malfoy naked, hunched over, clawing and ripping at his forearm with the shower beating down on him. The smell of blood in the thick, humid air curled Harry‘s stomach. The sight of blood dripping down Draco’s arm and nails had Harry holding back the bile he felt coming up. Memories that were forcing their way out of the deepest parts of his mind. The swirl of water and blood over the drain made him freeze in terror. It took Harry a moment to gather himself before he ran in and tried to stop Draco from hurting himself further. He paid no mind to the scolding hot water he now noticed was turning Draco’s pale skin red. 

Harry tried to keep Draco from mutilating his arm, the one that carried the dark mark, but Draco fought him. He pushed Harry away and screamed at him. He yelled at him over and over, telling him how he never wanted the mark in the first place. How no matter what he did with his life, this was the only thing people would ever see. They looked at each other for a moment as Harry held onto him. It was moments, maybe hours or days before Draco gave up. It was then both boys began to cry as they held each other not caring that the water still fell over them. Harry found himself crying for the first time since he was a child. He let out all the pain and frustration he felt over the last few years. After they had cried themselves out, they left the bathroom in silence. Harry went to change out of his wet clothes and Draco to put on something on. Neither spoke a word of what happened that afternoon not to each other or to anyone else. 

It was that moment that gave Harry a purpose


	2. How I've Spent My Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not edited (yet)

He began to study the dark mark; the magic on how it was made and how it worked. He learned everything he could about the dark magic used on the dark mark tattoos. He learned ways others had tried to remove the mark or how they tried to replace it. He grew fascinated with tattoos. The history of where they came from, how different cultures used them and the difference between muggle tattoos and wizarding ones. He learned how to create tattoos in the most basic rituals from the early Egyptian era to the more modern technics. He learned how to change muggle tattoos into magical ones that can move on the body. He practised on himself learning how each technic felt, how each one worked. He had words and drawings all over his nondominant arm and even on his legs that he himself had tattooed. He experimented with potions and spells to try to remove the dark tattoos. When that didn't work he learned how to make potions and spells that could possibly enhance the tattoos in some way. He mixed technics and became an expert in every way possible. It took him nearly seven years, but he had mastered the removal. He’d received permission from the ministry of magic and had removed the marks from some of the death eaters that were still in Azkaban. 

When he was sure it would work he went looking for Draco. It didn't take him long to find out where he was. If he was being honest with himself he had always kept track of him. He knew that Draco had bought himself a small potion shop, in a small town on the east side of Isle of Mull. It was a small town that was mostly a magical community. 

He made it to town and found a small inn to stay at. He found he was quite nervous. It had hit him quite suddenly, that he had dedicated nearly fourteen years of his life to Draco Malfoy. The first seven were not good ones, having been placed on opposite sides of a battle that had started years before they were born. The last seven years had been about helping a broken boy. A boy that even after years had stayed in his mind. Whenever he had lost hope of finding the answers, he would remember that day. 

He tried to put the nerves aside but found he couldn't.  His palms were sweaty and his heart rate increased. He wondered what Draco looked like now. Was he still that tall thin boy he remembered? Did he still smirk like he knew something you didn't? Had his eyes gone back to that bright silver glow or were they still that dull grey from that night?   


Taking a deep breath, Harry heads into the potion shop. He didn't see Draco right away. But as he walked in a small chime went off and he heard Draco's voice call out that he would be right out. When Draco stepped out from the back, Harry’s breath caught. Draco was standing there his grey eyes locked with Harry’s. The man before him was tall and thin, too thin, Harry thought to himself. He was all sharp angles. 

“Potter?” it sounded like a question but the tone was the same sharp tone he had used back in school. Harry smiled at him.    


“Good afternoon Draco.” Harry went for a soft light tone. He wanted to make Draco feel comfortable with his sudden appearance.    


“What are you doing here? Are they sending the Auroras around again to check on me? I don’t have anything dark in my shop, nor do I make anything of the sort.” his tone was hard and bitter. Harry was shocked they were still bothering Draco after eight years. He had been found innocent of almost all the charges and had done his time under house arrest. He had even gone back to Hogwarts on orders from the ministry as part of his house arrest.    


“I’m not an Aurora nor am I working for the Ministry. I’m sorry they keep bothering you.” He took a deep breath before he continued. “I am actually here on a more personal matter.” Draco gave him a look of scepticism. As he walked toward the counter at the front of the store. 

“What personal matter could you possibly have, that involves me?” Draco turned to place something on the counter behind him. He didn’t turn back around so Harry continued. 

“Is there someplace we could talk that’s more private?” he offered to want to give the option of privacy. 

“Say what you need to say Potter so you can leave.” He turned back to look at Harry. 

“Well, if you are sure. I’ve spent the last few years studying the art of tattoos in both the muggle world and the magical world. I have studied many different cultures and I have developed a method to cover the dark mark. I can’t remove it unfortunately but it won’t be a dark mark anymore. It can be whatever you want it to be.”   


"Let’s say I believe you, how would it work," Draco asked his tone now more curious but his face was masked with indifference. Harry wanted to smile but thought better of it. He didn’t want to give Draco any more reason to turn this down.   


"Well, it's a long process. It takes weeks depending on what you choose to cover it. You have to go over it with a muggle tattoo and apply a special potion to it. Then it's all wand work to reinforce the tattoo with magic. I'm sorry to say it will hurt a lot, more than when you got it."

"How would you know what it feels like?" Draco was getting angry at the thought of how he would know. Harry smiled and pulled up his sleeve. There were several tattoos on his arm. One was a snitch that kept flying towards his hand and then up his sleeve. When it came back into view, Harry closed his hand over the snitch and it stopped moving for a second. 

"This snitch was made with the same magic as the dark mark was. I was able to change it from its original form." He said as he pulled out a photo from his pocket. He showed Draco a picture of the black and white skull that had been on his arm. Draco looked at the picture then at the bright and very active snitch on his arm. He saw no skull on his arm where the tattoo should be. 

“It was a motionless tattoo but with the magic involved it can now move freely over my body.”

“How do I know that you’re telling me the truth?” Draco asked and the look of scepticism was lessening. 

“I have no reason to lie, but if you need proof you can ask round. I was able to change the mark of one of the prisoners in Azkaban.” there was silence for a moment before Harry turned to walk out.     


"Wait,” Draco called out and Harry stopped but didn’t turn. “When can we start?" Draco asked an eager note in his voice. Harry smiled to himself but schooled his expression before he turned around. Draco’s face was emotionless but there was a gleam in his eyes that looked hopeful.

"Whenever you have time. We have to go over a few things before we can start but once that is done" He smiled hoping to keep things as calm as possible. 

“Are you free today?" Draco asked his voice almost a whisper. His eyes looking at Harry’s feet   


“What time are you done here?” He asked hoping Draco would look up but he didn’t.   


“Six.”   


“I can meet you here at six, you can meet at the Rose Inn or if there is a better place you let me know. I have an open schedule right now.” He wanted Draco to feel comfortable and hoped that giving him a choice would help with the discomfort he was showing.   


“We can meet here if we're just talking.”   


“I'll see you at six.” Harry turned and walked away. He stopped at the door and looked back a Draco who was now looking at him. He smiled and told him to think of what he would want on his arm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> let me know what you think.


	3. Thank You

By half-past five Harry was pacing in his room. He was worried about Draco’s reaction, he wanted everything to go smoothly but nothing had ever gone well when it involved the two of them. This made him nervous that he would accidentally to do or say something that would make Draco walk away from him. He wasn't sure why but he had this need to help Draco. He felt it was up to him to make things right.

By five forty-five he was pacing outside of Draco’s shop. He didn’t want to look too eager but he wanted to make sure he was there on time. The waiting was driving him crazy so he was going over what he wanted to say to Draco. After he had walked past the front door a fifth Draco came outside looking rather annoyed.

“Potter, you’re going to scare people away either go away or get inside.” Harry stopped and stared at the door as Draco walked back in and the door closed loudly behind him. He walked into the store timidly. He was unsure of himself. He didn’t like the feeling. 

Neither man spoke for a good five minutes as Draco worked on cleaning. Harry watched him for a moment then walked around the store. He was trying not to look at Draco. He picked up a vile from the shelf. He looked it over and saw a small label with small script handwriting. He was placing it back when it almost fell.

“You break it, you bought it, Potter.”  Harry looked over his shoulder at Draco and felt the heat of a blush on his face. He hoped that it wasn’t noticeable. “So, why don’t you start telling me how this is going to work.” 

"Well first have you decided on what you want and it needs to be at least as big as the mark or larger. Once we have the design made we start with the muggle tattoo. This will be a long process. The muggle process is done with a needle and ink. We the outline, coloring and then shading. The problem is that you can’t use any healing potions. You will have to let heal naturally. So, you need to be careful because you can’t take any healing potions until we are done. Each process can only be done after the previous one has healed. That's why it takes so long. You will also need to apply a salve I’ve created that helps keep the dark mark from absorbing the ink. It has to be put on every day. 

   
“Once you have the tattoo and have healed then we start with the magic. It takes about three to four sessions to get it finished. These don’t take too long to heal but they are more painful. You will still need to apply the salve until we are done. Oh, and don’t worry if it takes too long or you need to go away for something, as long as you’re applying the salve every day it will stay.”

"I think I might want a dragon or something that represents my mother," Draco said. Harry smiled and lifted his sleeve up to his shoulder but it was bare. He frowned for a moment and look at his chest though the collar of his shirt. Without much thought, he removed his shirt.    
   
"Sorry about that. This one..."  he said pointing to the dragon that now floated over the right side of his chest "is meant to be on my arm. Most of my tattoos move but the stitch is the only one that can travel all over my body, not sure why this one is moving I have to check what process I used on this one. This flower is for my mum, a lily for a Lily" Harry smiled looking down at his chest. The lily was right over his heart. The snitch flew between the lily and the dragon. Harry felt the heat of another blush creeping up when he realized he was standing in the middle of the shop shirtless. He put his shirt back on quickly but was unsure how to proceed with the conversation. He didn’t have to think long as Draco started to talk.    
   
"The snitch I'm sure that's a fun game to play in the bedroom. I'm sure The Weasley girl really enjoys it?" As the words left Draco’s mouth his eyes widened and he turned to clean the counter behind him.   
   
"Actually, we haven't dated since before the war. I haven't dated anyone really." Harry didn’t know how he felt about this. He had spent so much time travelling that he hadn't realized he hadn't had more than a few friends he’d made along the way.    
   
"Well, then I'm sure whatever woman you end up with will quite enjoy it," Draco said still not looking at Harry. 

   
"Or man." Harry corrected. 

   
"What?" Draco turned and looked at Harry with surprise.   
   
"Or man. I don't have a preference for who I date. I'm attracted to all genders." He wasn’t sure why he wanted Draco to know this, but it seemed like he should let it be known.

   
"Oh well, more choices for you. I find preferring only one gender has limitations even when you included muggles.”

“You've dated muggles?”

“Tried but it's hard. You can't tell them you have magic at least not at the beginning, it's hard to connect with someone when you have to hide part of yourself. And when you are an ex-Death Eater it's hard to find a decent person who will overlook it.” Draco looked away, he couldn't look Harry in the eyes as he said it. 

“So, I think I'm going to go and work on some ideas for your tattoo. I’ll make a few drawings for you. I can bring them by later this week or you can by The Rose Inn any time to check them out. As soon as you’ve picked a drawing we can start when you have time. Make sure you have at least an hour free for each session, more if possible.” Harry was walking away when Draco stopped him.

“Po... Harry, Thank you.” There was a moment where they just stood there looking at each other before Draco turned and walked away. 

“Anytime,” Harry said in a whisper as he looked at Draco walk away. 


	4. Why did you do it?

Harry spent the rest his night and most of the next morning researching and drawing ideas. He wanted to find something that could represent Draco and Narcissa. Besides the obvious constellations for both of them, there was also dragons for Draco. He also found that the daffodil also represented Narcissus, the male version of Narcissa. 

He loved the idea of the flower at first because he also had a flower that represented his mother but the more he read on the flower the more he knew he was going to use the daffodil in some capacity. He found that not only did the flower represent Narcissa but also represented, renewal, inner reflection, awareness, and forgiveness. While looking through flowers he also found snapdragons. He liked what the snapdragons symbolize, grace under pressure or inner strength in trying circumstances. He knew he needed to include both those flowers. 

He had at least twenty different drawings that included a dragon and the two different flowers in some way. It was nearly two in the afternoon when Harry felt he had enough for Draco to choose from. He ate a small meal and laid down to take a nap but found he couldn't relax his mind. All he could think of was what Draco would think of his ideas and what he could do differently if he didn't like them. Not wanting to dwell on this anymore he dressed and made his way to Draco's shop. 

Draco, was with a customer when Harry got there so he browsed while he waited. He found some pepper-up while browsing and thought he should take some or he might fall asleep standing. He moved to the counter to purchase the pepper-up when Draco was done with his customer. When the customer left he placed the pepper-up on the counter and after a quick second guess, he placed the drawings next to it.

"What is this?" Draco asked as he picked up the papers and started to look through them. 

"Those are some of the ideas I came up with for your cover-up." Draco was looking at the drawings eyes moving back and forth over all the details on each of the pages. 

"You made these all last night?"

"And some this morning."

"Is that why you need the pepper-up?"

"Yeah, I got some inspiration while researching and didn’t realize what the time was until the sun was up." Draco took the bottle of pepper-up off the counter and turned to the shelf behind him. He placed the bottle down and picked up a blue vile. He turned and placed it in front of Harry. 

"It's my own brew. It does the same thing as pepper-up but without the crash when it wears off. It's also non-habit forming." 

"Wow, how much for this one?"

"Really? How much are you charging for the tattoo and all the work your putting into it?"

"Well nothing but it's not the same."

"No, it’s not. You have put in years of work to learn how to the impossible, then you spend hours designing all these ideas. Me giving you a vile of potion for free doesn't even begin to cover how much what you're doing means to me." There was a moment of silence between them. "Why? Why are you doing this for me?"

"You didn't have a choice and I wanted to make things easier for you."

"I did have a choice."

"No, you really didn't. You did what you had to do to survive. I just wanted to help."

"But why? Why spend so many years learning about this one thing that only really benefits me?"

"I had to do something anything. I was so lost. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I spent the first eleven years of my life being told I was a useless waste of space. Then spent seven years trying not to die only to find out I had to. I had no idea who I was or what to do with myself. Helping you, even if you didn't know it, gave me a purpose. It gave my life meaning and direction. So, it might look like a selfless act but it's not." Neither said a word for a moment. Harry was scared he had said too much. Draco picked up the drawings and pulled one out. It was large daffodils surrounded by snapdragons and two small dragons sitting on either side of the flowers.

"This one." He pointed at the paper. "Why did you add snapdragons, besides the name?"

"It represents grace under pressure and inner strength in trying circumstances. Both qualities you have. I mean you haven't through me out and I know how trying I could be." Draco smiled and Harry was struck by the sight. He didn’t think he had ever seen him smile when it wasn't involving nefarious reasons. It was a different look for him. I was a good look for him but Harry was taken aback by the feelings that s simple smile caused.

"Yes, you are. So, when can we start the process?" Draco asked as he restacked the pile of papers.

"We will need a few hours to start the outline. So, whenever you have time we can start." 

"We should start tomorrow. You need rest and this potion will only work for so long."

"Okay, as I told you I'm staying at the Rose Inn so you can come by when you're done with your day." Harry pulled out a coin from his pocket. He placed it on the counter.

"What kind of coin is this?" Draco asked.

"It's a muggle coin from a small coastal country in South America. During school, we enchanted coins to let the others know when and where to meet. It was the best and easiest way to get a message out without looking suspicious. This one is a simpler version of that one. If you press the coin for twenty seconds it will activate the one I have by warming it up. If you do that three times it will send me the coordinates to where you are so, I can appreate there. I used these while with some locals in the Amazon. I don't think we will need the locator feature it's good to have in case of emergencies. Watch." Harry pulled out another coin and pressed it once for twenty seconds and Draco felt the warmth. Then Harry did it again three times and numbers appeared on the lip of the coin.

"That's impressive, but why are you giving me this?"

"I am in the process of buying a new home. I might be out but if you press the coin when you are on your way I can finish what I am doing and met you at any pre-determined locations. If for some reason it's an emergency or we can't meet at that location we can use the locator to meet were ever the other is." 

"That's very clever but wouldn't it be easier to use one of these?" Draco pulled out a black flip phone from under the counter.

"I didn't know you know what those were."

"I am no expert on these felly tones but I can make and receive calls. Pansy made me get it. She says she refuses to kneel over the fireplace just to chat. I do find it rather convenient at times."

"Okay well here is my number if you call I can meet you as soon as I can." Draco went to hand him the coin but Harry slides it back. 

"Keep it someplace have ball cell serves and if you ever need it you'll have it."

"Thank you."

"No problem, so I'll just get going. I'll see you tomorrow." Harry turned to walk away when Draco noticed the drawings on the counter.

"Oh, you're forgetting your drawings."

"Keep them," Harry said as he walked out.

"Bye." Draco looked down and smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading it means alot that you took the time to do so.
> 
> Please let me know what you think. 
> 
> Kudos are like hugs for my mind ❤  
> Comments are like an endless supply of chocolate served me by Harry and Draco.❤


End file.
